My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
