His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
