i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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