The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
