a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Text me some of your sweat
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
