some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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