Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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