I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
