I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
