Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
