Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
