shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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