you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
