well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
