So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
