Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize