not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
