Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize