Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
