just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
