I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
