Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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