I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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