But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we're so committed to being not committed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
