so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
