I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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