I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
