just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
