Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize