Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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