I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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