i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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