Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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