one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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