I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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