i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
