Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
