all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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