Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
