Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
