Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
