just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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