that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
