around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
