I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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