You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
