I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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