Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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