Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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