Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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