I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
