Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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