I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Acid is not a monday night drug
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this hospital has no fireball
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
