: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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