How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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