never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
