Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
