Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize