Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is my gift to your gina
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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