I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
