don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
