i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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