Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
