im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
