And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize