her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
