You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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