Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
