we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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