Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
