She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
