I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
