i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
